The concept of choice as a representation of freedom is an illusion. To prove this all I need to do is ask you to choose to be hungry...........now. Its impossible. Hunger is controlled by something primeval. something that existed before you did, therefore you have no control over it. Because if you did, with your limited abilities, you would muddle up the timing, the amount of food for satisfaction, etc. you would kill yourself from simply not knowing how to control hunger, therefore you can not control it, and as such you can not choose to have it or not. when you eat because of hunger, you are simply REACTING to it. So as far as hunger is concerned, you never choose to eat, you only react to hunger telling you to.
This logic can be applied to ANY desire we have as humans, and it just so happens that desires are the only thing we have.
we do is simply a reaction to a desire. and like hunger, these desires
existed long before we were. as we live our lives and react to our
environment, we simple discover them. to prove this all I need to do is
ask you to like something you don't like ...........now. Ok I will be
fair, You can dislike something you like, but you have to do
it.......now. Were you able to? No of course not. this means, like
hunger or sleep, all our desires, even our most personal ones that we
hold closest to our hearts, that we use to define who we are, that we
use to express to people our uniqueness.....they all existed before we
were and are controlled but something besides us. (please understand I
use the word "us" so lightly, I mean who the hell are "us" anyway?)
You never chose to like blueberries. You never decided rap music
wasn't for you. You only reacted to a desire that expressed itself when
you happened to eat a blueberry, or listen to rap music. And this
desire isn't simply "I like rap music", these desires are not
quantifiable in any way. they are the meat and bone, the sweat and
blood, the air and earth, they are everything, and it so happens that
within your little puny organic structure, the slow beat, the deep bass,
the hard voice of rap music satisfies one of them. Or it doesn't.
Whatever the result, you didn't choose it.
so how does this relate to communication?
Since every choice we make is in actuality only a reaction to a desire,
when you say something to someone, and they say "i understand" unless
what you said is satisfactory to one of their desires, and that desire
caused them to react with the words "I understand" they do not
understand what you MEAN, they only understand the words you spoke.
by speaking to someone you could say you are giving someone an
opportunity to choose to understand what you say or not, but since there
is no choice, only reactions to our desires, the only way someone will
understand what you say is if what you say satisfies one of their
desires and causes them to react with the words "i understand". any
other time the words "i understand" are being spoken they are empty,
because the words you spoke are not satisfactory.
Even when you speak words that are satisfactory to someone's
desires, and the desire causes the person to say "i understand", the
desire within you that caused you to speak could be different from that
person's desire that caused them to say "I understand" and there just
happened to be enough in what you said that satisfied them. therefore,
because of this discrepancy, there is never a time where you can safely
say that someone understands you perfectly.
The only way this discrepancy could be weaken is by SEEING actions,
over an indeterminate period of time, that satisfy the desire that
caused you to speak, from the person who confesses to understand.
of all these discrepancies: the intricate differences between desires
that make up each individual, AND the ignorant way in which we use
language, It is near impossible to ever be certain anyone understands
you at any point in your life. Good luck.